This time last year, we were flying to Florida and getting ready for our consultation with the doctor who we thought could save Jasmine. I remember feeling excited and hopeful about it. I mean he was the specialist and he dealt with CDH all the time. The thought of having to do four appointments was daunting. I had never had an MRI, so didn't really know what to expect from that. The others were basically just long ultrasounds, which I was definitely familiar with. We spent the better part of two days in all of these appointments.
I can say I hope I never have to have another MRI. Those have a way of making people who aren't typically claustrophobic feel like they are! Plus, even with the ear plugs, they are super loud and Jasmine didn't seem to like the noise since she was moving around like crazy. The echo we had to do was just long and drawn out. Before that, I never knew how many different parts of the heart they could even look at.
I remember going into that meeting excited to meet the specialist. The initial meeting went well. We were told she had a great survival chance and I felt confident we were in good hands. After we left, one of the assistants ran back out to find us and call us back in. Which I thought seemed unusual. That's when we were told that the doctor who had looked at the MRI had called and mentioned that the lung tissue didn't look normal and that there was fluid around the lung. I didn't even know what to do with this information. Suddenly we weren't at all confident anymore because we had no idea what this could even mean. But based on this info, this is why we were encouraged to go ahead and get the amnio. Something I had declined before because I didn't want to do it. I still didn't want to do it, but I trusted him, so we scheduled it and had it done.
I've tried to not think about any of this during this holiday season. I don't want to remember parts of that trip. Mainly just the medical parts. It just brings back more memories of the unknown and of the anxiety and stress we felt. We were supposed to walk away feeling confident, but instead left with more questions than answers.
The memories and pictures are about to start popping up on my Facebook and Google memories. I am trying instead to remember the fun times we had as a family. Kind of a funny story, but since we were there for Christmas, we had to find a place that was open to go eat our Christmas dinner. My mom and brother were there, along with my husband, N, and me. I like to collect shirts/visits from the various Hard Rock cafes, so we saw the casino was open. Yea, I totally forgot that you can still smoke in casinos and the smell was so awful. So then I looked like parent of the year over here, walking into the casino with my 3 year old son and being noticeably pregnant! But at least we have that memory to laugh about.
It was also nice to enjoy warmer days on the beach for Christmas. Not that we get crazy cold winters in Texas anyways! This is one of my favorite pics that we took on the trip. Just relaxing and enjoying time on the beach while everything was still sort of okay, or as okay as it could be. N still talks about going back to Florida. But it's hard to want to when you have some pretty sad/angry memories about the place.
I can say I hope I never have to have another MRI. Those have a way of making people who aren't typically claustrophobic feel like they are! Plus, even with the ear plugs, they are super loud and Jasmine didn't seem to like the noise since she was moving around like crazy. The echo we had to do was just long and drawn out. Before that, I never knew how many different parts of the heart they could even look at.
I remember going into that meeting excited to meet the specialist. The initial meeting went well. We were told she had a great survival chance and I felt confident we were in good hands. After we left, one of the assistants ran back out to find us and call us back in. Which I thought seemed unusual. That's when we were told that the doctor who had looked at the MRI had called and mentioned that the lung tissue didn't look normal and that there was fluid around the lung. I didn't even know what to do with this information. Suddenly we weren't at all confident anymore because we had no idea what this could even mean. But based on this info, this is why we were encouraged to go ahead and get the amnio. Something I had declined before because I didn't want to do it. I still didn't want to do it, but I trusted him, so we scheduled it and had it done.
I've tried to not think about any of this during this holiday season. I don't want to remember parts of that trip. Mainly just the medical parts. It just brings back more memories of the unknown and of the anxiety and stress we felt. We were supposed to walk away feeling confident, but instead left with more questions than answers.
The memories and pictures are about to start popping up on my Facebook and Google memories. I am trying instead to remember the fun times we had as a family. Kind of a funny story, but since we were there for Christmas, we had to find a place that was open to go eat our Christmas dinner. My mom and brother were there, along with my husband, N, and me. I like to collect shirts/visits from the various Hard Rock cafes, so we saw the casino was open. Yea, I totally forgot that you can still smoke in casinos and the smell was so awful. So then I looked like parent of the year over here, walking into the casino with my 3 year old son and being noticeably pregnant! But at least we have that memory to laugh about.
It was also nice to enjoy warmer days on the beach for Christmas. Not that we get crazy cold winters in Texas anyways! This is one of my favorite pics that we took on the trip. Just relaxing and enjoying time on the beach while everything was still sort of okay, or as okay as it could be. N still talks about going back to Florida. But it's hard to want to when you have some pretty sad/angry memories about the place.
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