The holiday season after a loss

I have had several people ask me how I'm doing with the holiday season approaching. To be honest, I hadn't thought of this holiday season as being any different. It's the first one after our loss. But I have had so much going on I haven't even really thought of the holidays much.

Christmas has been more of an afterthought. But when I did think about it, it was more in relation to my son. Christmas is still exciting for him so I know I need to make an effort to "care" a little more about Christmas this year.

I intend to get Jasmine a stocking, but can't seem to pick out the right one. We don't all have matching stockings, so any would do. But I'm having a hard time making up my mind.

This would have been her first Christmas and if she had been born on her due date, would be around 8 months old. I am sad that I won't get to see the interaction between them on Christmas. I think lately I mostly just push the sad feelings away and try to not think about it.

I've been told that the holidays are the time of year that people who are sad and lonely tend to shy away from family and friends because they don't want to be the sad one in the room or bring everyone down. I think this is the time of year that we need to make sure these people are included and not forgotten. Don't ignore them or not invite them because you think they are too sad to be around. This is when they need you most. You may not even recognize that they are feeling that way.

I haven't been one to shy away from my family and friends during sad times or times of grief. But I know not everyone is like me. Everyone wants different things when they are grieving.

I am determined that I am going to pick out the perfect stocking for her this week. One that will hang nicely with all the others as a reminder that she is still a family member.

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