Four more months

I was just thinking the other day that it's only a little under four months until we hit that year mark on when Jasmine was born.  It will be here before we know it.  The time goes by like a blur because have Thanksgiving, then Christmas, then tax season starts and I get super swamped.

I was trying to think of what I could do to celebrate her birthday. I saw someone else who had a loss who asked all of her friends and family members to say or write the name of her baby and send her a pic/video.  I really liked this idea because it helps keep her name alive and shows that other people still care about her too.

I know people who have done things like balloon releases, but I would rather do something more environmentally friendly. 

I have never been private in my grief and have written about it all.  The good parts and the ugly parts.  How else can I expect people to even begin to understand what it's like if I am not completely open and honest?  Some people don't like to share that side of themselves and I understand.  It's not easy to share the deepest and rawest things you experience.

It is my personal goal to make sure loss is not a taboo subject.  Not something we have to sweep under the rug because it makes others uncomfortable.  Who cares if others are uncomfortable?  They have nothing to do with your feelings.  And at some point they will have to face the same feelings.  None of us escape a loss.  We all have some type of loss in our lives. 

I think that's one of the problems with social media.  Everyone posts the happy things. The perfect moments.  When someone posts the sad things there is criticism.  We should all be free to share what we feel without ridicule.  If you don't want to see or read something, be an adult and move on.  I can't believe some of the things I have seen posted to loss parents.  Things that were unnecessary and hurtful and don't benefit anyone.

Obviously, we will never forget our daughter.  I know other people will move on, but I want her memory to live on with more than just us.  I want to find something good to do that can help others as well.  I want her name to mean something to others.  To be a source of inspiration and strength.  To be known as a beautiful fighter.

I have four months to think of something.  If anyone has any ideas, I would love to hear them.