It's been almost a month since I've written anything. My life has been busy, but in a mostly good way. I've really been enjoying my new job. Through the Pregnancy After Loss (PALS) Facebook Groups, I've been able to hear about a lot of different women who have gone through different kinds of losses. Everyone on there has had a loss of some kind. It is actually nice to be able to connect with others who have gone through a similar thing. It's a way that we all don't want to be connected, but it's also nice to have the support from those women.
Losses can happen to anyone. Someone who is told they have a completely healthy pregnancy and nothing is wrong. Someone who has a baby with a chromosome issue. It's random and sometimes the cause isn't even known. It's incredibly frustrating.
What I find even more frustrating is how many people have felt like they can't talk about their loss with their family and friends. Or can't share pictures of the baby they lost or say their name. Do you know how hard that is for someone who is trying to keep the memory of their child alive? Like people think that loss is contagious. Stories and memories are all they have left.
I have always been open about everything because I want people to understand what I've been through. I've been lucky to have supportive family and friends. Some days I just want to talk about her. I don't get sad every time I think of her now and it's actually nice to just talk about her sometimes.
On my Facebook memories page, the memory popped up this week of when we first found out she was a girl. It made me a little sad, but also I tried to remember the happiness in that memory. We found out she was a girl at the same ultrasound we found out about the CDH. But I was still so excited to be having a girl. I know that some tough memories are about to pop up on there. Memories of bad doctor visits and upsetting ultrasounds. We are almost at the 8th month mark since we lost her. While the pregnancy was tough, I want to remember the happy memories I have of being pregnant with her.
I was talking to a couple of friends today and was talking about the whole situation regarding some of my doctors during the pregnancy. While others may have had good experiences with them, I did not. And we were talking about how that doesn't mean the doctor is good or bad, but that we had opposite experiences and neither diminishes the other's experience. And it's important that we both be able to openly talk about what we went through with the same doctor. One friend ended with a happy result and the other friend and I both didn't have that same happy result.
Like I mentioned, I have been pretty open about my feelings on everything that happened. Both the good and the bad. I've tried to be there for other moms going through a loss or for other moms who had babies diagnosed with trisomy and CDH. I've really enjoyed working with the PALS groups and hope to continue to learn more from all of those wonderful ladies.
Losses can happen to anyone. Someone who is told they have a completely healthy pregnancy and nothing is wrong. Someone who has a baby with a chromosome issue. It's random and sometimes the cause isn't even known. It's incredibly frustrating.
What I find even more frustrating is how many people have felt like they can't talk about their loss with their family and friends. Or can't share pictures of the baby they lost or say their name. Do you know how hard that is for someone who is trying to keep the memory of their child alive? Like people think that loss is contagious. Stories and memories are all they have left.
I have always been open about everything because I want people to understand what I've been through. I've been lucky to have supportive family and friends. Some days I just want to talk about her. I don't get sad every time I think of her now and it's actually nice to just talk about her sometimes.
On my Facebook memories page, the memory popped up this week of when we first found out she was a girl. It made me a little sad, but also I tried to remember the happiness in that memory. We found out she was a girl at the same ultrasound we found out about the CDH. But I was still so excited to be having a girl. I know that some tough memories are about to pop up on there. Memories of bad doctor visits and upsetting ultrasounds. We are almost at the 8th month mark since we lost her. While the pregnancy was tough, I want to remember the happy memories I have of being pregnant with her.
I was talking to a couple of friends today and was talking about the whole situation regarding some of my doctors during the pregnancy. While others may have had good experiences with them, I did not. And we were talking about how that doesn't mean the doctor is good or bad, but that we had opposite experiences and neither diminishes the other's experience. And it's important that we both be able to openly talk about what we went through with the same doctor. One friend ended with a happy result and the other friend and I both didn't have that same happy result.
Like I mentioned, I have been pretty open about my feelings on everything that happened. Both the good and the bad. I've tried to be there for other moms going through a loss or for other moms who had babies diagnosed with trisomy and CDH. I've really enjoyed working with the PALS groups and hope to continue to learn more from all of those wonderful ladies.
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