I know almost everyone has heard the saying "Comparison is the thief of joy". I have been thinking about that a lot lately. I feel like we are always comparing ourselves to others. And there are two ways of thinking about it....either we feel better than someone or we feel someone is better than us. I guess we can feel equal to others as well, but I think that's less common. We are proud because we have more than someone or feel smarter than someone. Or feel ashamed because we feel we aren't as smart or aren't as accomplished as someone.
I think this also applies to grief. We all grieve differently, yet we may feel we aren't grieving the right way or aren't grieving enough even. I went back to work after a week and when I saw other people who took much longer to go back, I briefly felt kinda bad about it. Like how could I be okay enough to go back so soon when everyone else wasn't? But I knew it was the best thing for me and it didn't mean that I wasn't still grieving. I was just doing what was best for me personally.
We also can't compare different types of grief. If someone loses a parent, someone loses a child, and someone is diagnosed with cancer, then these are all obviously horrible things. Is any of them worse than the other? No because they are different and can't really be compared. I had a moment after I lost her where I knew someone rlse who had a couple of bad things happen and I remember thinking that they had it much worse than me. Which I thought was weird to think because what they were going through was just different.
We all have the right to grieve in our own way, on our own timeline, and for whatever we think is worth grieving for. Just because it isn't important in someone else's eyes doesn't mean it isn't important to you. So basically, I'm trying to stop comparing myself to other people. It's hard because it's just in our nature. But I'm slowly getting there.
I think this also applies to grief. We all grieve differently, yet we may feel we aren't grieving the right way or aren't grieving enough even. I went back to work after a week and when I saw other people who took much longer to go back, I briefly felt kinda bad about it. Like how could I be okay enough to go back so soon when everyone else wasn't? But I knew it was the best thing for me and it didn't mean that I wasn't still grieving. I was just doing what was best for me personally.
We also can't compare different types of grief. If someone loses a parent, someone loses a child, and someone is diagnosed with cancer, then these are all obviously horrible things. Is any of them worse than the other? No because they are different and can't really be compared. I had a moment after I lost her where I knew someone rlse who had a couple of bad things happen and I remember thinking that they had it much worse than me. Which I thought was weird to think because what they were going through was just different.
We all have the right to grieve in our own way, on our own timeline, and for whatever we think is worth grieving for. Just because it isn't important in someone else's eyes doesn't mean it isn't important to you. So basically, I'm trying to stop comparing myself to other people. It's hard because it's just in our nature. But I'm slowly getting there.
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