Skip to main content

Comparison

I know almost everyone has heard the saying "Comparison is the thief of joy".  I have been thinking about that a lot lately.  I feel like we are always comparing ourselves to others.  And there are two ways of thinking about it....either we feel better than someone or we feel someone is better than us.  I guess we can feel equal to others as well, but I think that's less common.  We are proud because we have more than someone or feel smarter than someone.  Or feel ashamed because we feel we aren't as smart or aren't as accomplished as someone.

I think this also applies to grief.  We all grieve differently, yet we may feel we aren't grieving the right way or aren't grieving enough even.  I went back to work after a week and when I saw other people who took much longer to go back, I briefly felt kinda bad about it.  Like how could I be okay enough to go back so soon when everyone else wasn't?  But I knew it was the best thing for me and it didn't mean that I wasn't still grieving.  I was just doing what was best for me personally.

We also can't compare different types of grief.  If someone loses a parent, someone loses a child, and someone is diagnosed with cancer, then these are all obviously horrible things.  Is any of them worse than the other?  No because they are different and can't really be compared.  I had a moment after I lost her where I knew someone rlse who had a couple of bad things happen and I remember thinking that they had it much worse than me.  Which I thought was weird to think because what they were going through was just different.

We all have the right to grieve in our own way, on our own timeline, and for whatever we think is worth grieving for.  Just because it isn't important in someone else's eyes doesn't mean it isn't important to you.  So basically, I'm trying to stop comparing myself to other people.  It's hard because it's just in our nature. But I'm slowly getting there.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Jenna's Story

After over a year of trying to conceive naturally, my OBGYN suggested we try IUI. We did 4 IUI cycles with her before she recommended we move on to see a fertility specialist, who then tried 2 more IUI cycles before ultimately recommending IVF. We proceeded with IVF and that was an absolute rollercoaster. We went from the high of a fruitful egg retrieval, to an above average number of eggs fertilized. Then we were suddenly rocked to learn on day 3 that our embryos weren't looking great, and that we needed to brace ourselves for the possibility of nothing viable to transfer. This was our first taste of what we believed to be absolute heartbreak. So naïve. By some miracle, we ended up having 3 viable embryos on day 5. Those 2 days felt like an eternity then. Only 2 of those embryos ended up being good for transfer, so we thawed and transferred one and began our 2 week wait. We were floored to learn at the end of it that we were pregnant (spoiler: this one ends well, don't wo...

Project Finding Your Rainbow

It has been a while since I have written anything, but I am super excited about this idea.  I am sure some of you remember the rainbow skirt that I used for my maternity pictures with my rainbow baby.  If you don't, here are a couple of pics below. (If you need a great photographer, these were taken by McGowan Images) Since then, the skirt has pretty much just been sitting in my closet without getting any use.  I kept trying to think of some way that I could use it.  I then saw an article about someone who had a skirt like this and sent it out to other women who had a loss to use and they would take their picture with it. Thank you to someone who commented with the link.  You can read about the original person doing this  here . This is when I decided I wanted to do something similar.  Every since our loss, I have wanted to do something to help others who have had a loss/are going through a loss and something that would help bring awareness to ...

Anger

I have found that one of the strongest emotions I have had to deal with lately is anger.  I am angry at a lot of things.  I am angry at the doctors who abandoned me (in the end, every single one of them did and that really sucks).  The one who wrote off my daughter's chance to survive the moment of the CDH diagnosis, the one who told me well you can give birth to her now and spend a few minutes with her or you can wait and let her be stillborn, and the one who I had been counting on to help me and then wouldn't at the end.  I've mentioned it before, but it really sucks that doctors don't want to help you when they hear the word trisomy.  I wasn't asking for a miracle, I was asking for them to just TRY.  And in the end, no one would and we ran out of time.  The only one I did not feel abandoned by was my OB and he was the one person who couldn't really help in this situation.  Personally, I never want to see or speak with any of those doctors ...