Trying to get pregnant again

I have been busy lately! I started my new job on Monday and I really like it so far. The people here are great and everyone is helpful. Plus I don't start until 9, which significantly reduces my stress in the morning. I feel like now I have too much time in the mornings!

But on to what I wanted to write about today. As I have mentioned before, I really want to get pregnant again. And am a bit frustrated it hasn't happened yet even though it really hasn't been that long. It just feels like a super long time.

One of the hardest things is dealing with other people who seem to so easily get pregnant. People who try and it happens the first time or people who weren't even trying and it just magically happens for them. You try to be happy for them, but at the same time you can't help but grieve for yourself. Why can't it be that easy for everyone?

I already had to go through the struggle of trying to get pregnant and then through the loss of my daughter after that already difficult and emotionally draining struggle. I just want it to be easy.

At the same time, I feel like, despite what I just said, I am still able to be more relaxed about it this time. I know it will happen, I just want it to happen on my timeline! Instead of constantly stressing, I am working on reducing my stress and focusing all my energy on taking care of myself. I just started an exercise program again and need to refocus on my diet. I kept hoping I would just get pregnant quickly and not have to worry about all this until after I had my rainbow baby. Well the universe had other plans! But really, as much as I want to be pregnant, I know even more that I need to take care of myself. And hopefully that will help speed up the process.

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Life is Stupidly Unfair: A Mom's Journey of Survival

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