Acknowledgement

It seems so tricky sometimes when you lose a child. When someone asks you how many children you have, what do you say? I want to say I have two children, but then I feel like I have to explain what happened. If I don't, they obviously assume I have two living children and start asking questions like a normal person would.

I don't want to say I just have one child, but sometimes it's easier.

Sometimes I just say I have one living and one in Heaven.

No matter how you say it, it's hard.

I was asked to just write a quick bio about myself for my new company website. I read through the other ones and of course people mention their kids. That makes it hard for me. I want to acknowledge both children, but obviously don't want to go into that long story in a bio about myself. And don't want to say I just have one child. It is just way more complicated in my head than it needs to be. But it's those weird little things you don't think about until you are faced with it. It's just a stupid bio, but it brings up a weird emotion.

We are also in the process of getting our house ready to sell. We usually keep Jasmine's ashes in our bedroom. With people about to be going in and out of our house, I didn't want to risk leaving her there because there are weird people and I don't trust strangers in my house. I also didn't want to just stick her in the closet because that didn't feel right. So, she is staying at my mom's for a bit. Which is nice because I feel kind of like she gets to visit over there. I actually miss having her at home though. Obviously, I know it's not really her. But it's one of the only things I have left of her.

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