Thank you so much to all of you that responded to the survey I posted. I have gotten some really great feedback. If you haven't taken it yet, I would still appreciate your feedback! (Also there is a follow up one at the end that's different)
https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/57S65YG
One of the things that several people mentioned is that they aren't quite sure what exactly a doula is or does. I was like this with my first birth. I thought I didn't need one of those for just "emotional support" and that it wasn't something worth the money. Going through this training and speaking with other people who have used one have completely changed my mind and I will definitely be hiring one with my next birth. (I had my husband and my mom at both of my births. I wasn't lacking in support, but I just see so much value in having a doula there.)
- They don't just work with home births or natural births. They work with all kinds of births, including planned C-Sections and planned medicated births.
-They do not push their agenda on you. They are there to support you and whatever decisions you have made.
-They are there to provide you options and be your advocate. This is the most important thing. They can be there to help ensure that your birth goes exactly as you want it to go.
-Using a doula can decrease your risk of needing a C-section and needing Pitocin.
-They do not take the place of the father or partner. In fact, they can help calm the father down and help him with his role in the labor process.
-They don't just provide support for the mother, but also for the father and older siblings.
-They can help you determine your birth plan by going over all possible options/scenarios with you so that you don't have to think about them while you are in labor.
-They don't "hate" doctors or advise you to go against medical advice. They work with doctors and midwives to help give you the best birth experience possible.
With my son, my water broke in the middle of the night, but I wasn't really having contractions. When I got to the hospital, they told me my labor had stalled and I needed Pitocin. I was a first time mom and was scared of giving birth, so of course I went along with what they said. If I had hired a doula, she would've been able to present my options to me. To let me know that it is common for labor to stall when you first get to the hospital, but that there are other ways to move it along without jumping straight to medicine. Let's face it, no one likes contractions with Pitocin. I went in knowing I wanted an epidural, but I now know that I would want to try things differently (without Pitocin).
One of the other important things is that we are taught to fear childbirth. That it will hurt and that we need to cover the pain with medicine. Which yea, it does hurt, but a lot of the pain also comes from fear. And if we can control the fear, it helps with the pain. Not saying that there isn't a place for medicine or that it's bad to use it. But I think we shouldn't be taught to be so afraid of childbirth.
I absolutely wish I would have known about bereavement doulas when I was in labor with Jasmine. As anyone can understand, I just wanted that labor over as fast as possible, knowing what was awaiting me at the end. There were things a doula could've told me that the hospital didn't. Things like how expressing the colostrum isn't just good for the baby, but good for the mother because it helps with the rapid hormone change and makes for a better recovery. I didn't know this, but wish I had. It is just little things like this that make me see the value in having them there. Many offer their services for free to those going through a loss/miscarriage/stillbirth.
I have a friend who gave me permission to mention her story. She had a pretty traumatic birth with her first child. Her second was a C-section, but she still hired a doula to ensure that she had an advocate there with her. The doula could help ensure she got skin to skin with her baby and other things that she felt she didn't get the first time around. So they can even be useful with a scheduled C-section.
Doulas can also help with couples choosing to adopt. The time after adoption can be new and stressful and they can help ease this transition.
They can help post partum by coming over if you get overwhelmed. Holding the baby while you take a shower. Helping with light housework. Helping you with breastfeeding. Helping if you have multiples. Just being someone you can talk to during that sometimes stressful post partum time.
Hopefully this gives you a better idea of what exactly a doula is and what they do. Let me know if you have additional questions as I would be happy to answer them! I am about halfway through my training and can't wait to start helping women get the birth experience they want.
If you wouldn't mind, I have a follow up survey (really quick, mostly yes/no questions) that I hope you wouldn't mind taking for me. Thank you!
https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/QTZW87K
https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/57S65YG
One of the things that several people mentioned is that they aren't quite sure what exactly a doula is or does. I was like this with my first birth. I thought I didn't need one of those for just "emotional support" and that it wasn't something worth the money. Going through this training and speaking with other people who have used one have completely changed my mind and I will definitely be hiring one with my next birth. (I had my husband and my mom at both of my births. I wasn't lacking in support, but I just see so much value in having a doula there.)
- They don't just work with home births or natural births. They work with all kinds of births, including planned C-Sections and planned medicated births.
-They do not push their agenda on you. They are there to support you and whatever decisions you have made.
-They are there to provide you options and be your advocate. This is the most important thing. They can be there to help ensure that your birth goes exactly as you want it to go.
-Using a doula can decrease your risk of needing a C-section and needing Pitocin.
-They do not take the place of the father or partner. In fact, they can help calm the father down and help him with his role in the labor process.
-They don't just provide support for the mother, but also for the father and older siblings.
-They can help you determine your birth plan by going over all possible options/scenarios with you so that you don't have to think about them while you are in labor.
-They don't "hate" doctors or advise you to go against medical advice. They work with doctors and midwives to help give you the best birth experience possible.
With my son, my water broke in the middle of the night, but I wasn't really having contractions. When I got to the hospital, they told me my labor had stalled and I needed Pitocin. I was a first time mom and was scared of giving birth, so of course I went along with what they said. If I had hired a doula, she would've been able to present my options to me. To let me know that it is common for labor to stall when you first get to the hospital, but that there are other ways to move it along without jumping straight to medicine. Let's face it, no one likes contractions with Pitocin. I went in knowing I wanted an epidural, but I now know that I would want to try things differently (without Pitocin).
One of the other important things is that we are taught to fear childbirth. That it will hurt and that we need to cover the pain with medicine. Which yea, it does hurt, but a lot of the pain also comes from fear. And if we can control the fear, it helps with the pain. Not saying that there isn't a place for medicine or that it's bad to use it. But I think we shouldn't be taught to be so afraid of childbirth.
I absolutely wish I would have known about bereavement doulas when I was in labor with Jasmine. As anyone can understand, I just wanted that labor over as fast as possible, knowing what was awaiting me at the end. There were things a doula could've told me that the hospital didn't. Things like how expressing the colostrum isn't just good for the baby, but good for the mother because it helps with the rapid hormone change and makes for a better recovery. I didn't know this, but wish I had. It is just little things like this that make me see the value in having them there. Many offer their services for free to those going through a loss/miscarriage/stillbirth.
I have a friend who gave me permission to mention her story. She had a pretty traumatic birth with her first child. Her second was a C-section, but she still hired a doula to ensure that she had an advocate there with her. The doula could help ensure she got skin to skin with her baby and other things that she felt she didn't get the first time around. So they can even be useful with a scheduled C-section.
Doulas can also help with couples choosing to adopt. The time after adoption can be new and stressful and they can help ease this transition.
They can help post partum by coming over if you get overwhelmed. Holding the baby while you take a shower. Helping with light housework. Helping you with breastfeeding. Helping if you have multiples. Just being someone you can talk to during that sometimes stressful post partum time.
Hopefully this gives you a better idea of what exactly a doula is and what they do. Let me know if you have additional questions as I would be happy to answer them! I am about halfway through my training and can't wait to start helping women get the birth experience they want.
If you wouldn't mind, I have a follow up survey (really quick, mostly yes/no questions) that I hope you wouldn't mind taking for me. Thank you!
https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/QTZW87K
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