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Perspective

When we first got the CDH diagnosis, I was connected with a girl who was also pregnant with a CDH baby.  She added me to several online groups on Facebook.  When I first posted, I got an influx of messages from both parents of survivors and parents of angel babies.  I'll be the first to say, I didn't want to listen to the people with angel babies.  I was thinking "No way this is going to be the ending to my story."  I couldn't stand to see the people post in these groups about losing their baby.  It made me so sad and I didn't want to deal with those feelings.  I was certain my girl was strong and would survive.

Now that I am on the other side of things, I see things from a totally new perspective.  After we lost her, I left all the groups because it made me too sad to see the stories of all the survivors.  That should've been my baby that I was posting about.  Posting all of her hospital milestones and then posting finally that we get to go home.  Then I ended up rejoining because there were people posting about their babies being diagnosed with trisomy and I wanted to be able to help.  I reached out to a couple, but they didn't really want to listen to me.  So now I was completely on the other side of things.  But I get it.  They don't want to hear from the ones who lost their babies.  They don't want that to be their baby.  I am sure they will go along the same path I did and hoping for the very best.  And hopefully they will get better outcomes than I did.

It's just interesting how your perspective can change based on your experiences.  At first, I joined the group to get support from other people and to focus on all the positive stories.  Now, I stay to provide support to others.  I still feel weird posting about my daughter sometimes because I know that no one likes hearing the sad stories.  But I like having a place where she can be remembered among other people who have also dealt with the same defect.

By the way, the internet is such a great invention.  It is amazing how you can find support from so many people you have never even met!
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